Metalus 20 | The Nine Commandments
May 5th 2014 Patrick Saad Miscellaneous

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N.B: The following content has no religious significance, and is meant only to entertain Metal music lovers.

*Morgan Freeman narrates*

BREAKING NEWS: Modern day explorers have found a hidden paper scroll in an isolated cave deep in the Scandinavian mountains.

The ancient scroll (now named “Metalus 20”) revealed 9 commandments for “the men and women of Metal”. The following text has been exclusively obtained by the LebMetal.com office in Norway:

Snow Cave

  • The Nine Commandments

1- Thou shall not steal your neighbor’s original CDs, but thou can borrow and never return!

2- Thou shall pursue the Dream of being a Rock Legend, just choose anyone other than Steven Tyler from Aerosmith, for that is forbidden.

3- Thou shall assist anyone who falls in the pit of the moshing, then proceed in pushing them to fall again!

4- Thou shall consider everything with the word “Black” in it to be Metal i.e Blackwater Park, Jack Black, Blacklist, Blacksmith, Blackout, etc. Exceptions: Rebecca Black, BlackBerry, Antiblack.

5- Thou shall expose Posers to their true identity by asking them to name 6 songs from Kill ‘Em All.

6- Thou shall defend yourself against injustice, discrimination and tyranny.

7- Thou shall not fear the darkness, unless thy maiden is iron, for in that case thou shall crazily fear the dark for 7 minutes and 8 seconds.

8- Thou shall not be stuck in the 70’s and 80’s, unless you are from the Hamra region in Beirut – in that case, it is perfectly acceptable.

9- Thou can disguise thy appearances to blend in with the normal folks, as long as thou forget not your roots.

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I wouldn’t say I followed all these commandments, but I promise I can name 6 songs from Kill ‘Em All!

Can you?

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