N.B: The following content has no religious significance, and is meant only to entertain Metal music lovers.
*Morgan Freeman narrates*
BREAKING NEWS: Modern day explorers have found a hidden paper scroll in an isolated cave deep in the Scandinavian mountains.
The ancient scroll (now named “Metalus 20”) revealed 9 commandments for “the men and women of Metal”. The following text has been exclusively obtained by the LebMetal.com office in Norway:
- The Nine Commandments
1- Thou shall not steal your neighbor’s original CDs, but thou can borrow and never return!
2- Thou shall pursue the Dream of being a Rock Legend, just choose anyone other than Steven Tyler from Aerosmith, for that is forbidden.
3- Thou shall assist anyone who falls in the pit of the moshing, then proceed in pushing them to fall again!
4- Thou shall consider everything with the word “Black” in it to be Metal i.e Blackwater Park, Jack Black, Blacklist, Blacksmith, Blackout, etc. Exceptions: Rebecca Black, BlackBerry, Antiblack.
5- Thou shall expose Posers to their true identity by asking them to name 6 songs from Kill ‘Em All.
6- Thou shall defend yourself against injustice, discrimination and tyranny.
7- Thou shall not fear the darkness, unless thy maiden is iron, for in that case thou shall crazily fear the dark for 7 minutes and 8 seconds.
8- Thou shall not be stuck in the 70’s and 80’s, unless you are from the Hamra region in Beirut – in that case, it is perfectly acceptable.
9- Thou can disguise thy appearances to blend in with the normal folks, as long as thou forget not your roots.
I wouldn’t say I followed all these commandments, but I promise I can name 6 songs from Kill ‘Em All!